What a waste, what a waste, rock n roll don’t mind…

What a time to be alive. On the verge of world war 3 on the Russian, Ukraine border, a potential end of days nuclear world war (as opposed to the more user friendly non nuclear world wars) fed by US based arm dealers and an out of control, criminally dishonest, CIA controlled, mainstream media. A far right eugenics loving sociopath as Prime Minister, backed by a cabinet of the worst human beings to ever draw breath, with a leader of the opposition as much a Tory as the people he pretends to oppose. In the midst of a pandemic, governed by people who literally want you dead, as they give the NHS over to US Big Pharma. Julian Assange in prison convicted of nothing, for reporting on US war crimes, and with the enfolding climate catastrophe, we’ve got 30 years tops before our entire race is extinct…

However, they’ve sacked Stephen Glass. Well thank fuck for that. That one, was important.

So Stephen Glass is a human being, with feelings and emotions, and despite me daring to ‘punch down’ regularly by questioning what a couple of Chairmen worth hundreds of millions between them are up to, I am not an actual sociopath. So a level of kindness is required. Albeit Glass has also walked away with several hundred grand in his back pocket for not being able to do a job he should never have been given. I think he’ll be fine. I don’t think he’ll be worrying about his next electric bill, and I am convinced someone smart like him, won’t be stupid enough to read my blog. (no disrespect to you of course!!)

Elephant in the blog, I called it right at the beginning. Which was very weird, and genuinely not happy to be right. Also I was very surprised just how bad he was, and think we have dodged a massive bullet by him being, quite frankly, dreadful. Had he shown some promise, a bit of improvement, we could easily have been stuck with him, and sitting in sixth for the next eighteen months. So thank 6OD, he was fucking atrocious. And, well done to the board (I know) for acting swiftly. I KNOW!! (does this get me back into Hall of Fame contention?)

In retrospect, the whole appointment hamstrung him from the very beginning. It appeared as if his whole appointment was based on not being McInnes, and was reverse engineered to appeal to a few aggressively loud Twitter accounts.

The football philosophy for example, made no sense, other than to be the antithesis of the later period of McInnes. If he had done it before, at Dunfermline or at a senior level in the States and gone, we did x, y, and z, and look, we scored 142 goals in a season, fair enough. But to arrive with that in his head after never having done it before, plus the whole ‘self confidence’ thing, was a recipe for disaster. I don’t doubt he is a genuine, decent guy, and the saddest part is, there may be a football manager in there. The ‘self confidence’ part seemed very false (from his interviews). It worked when Klopp arrived at Liverpool. I’m going to do this and this, and as a result this will happen. Players get on board, and through confidence growing the whole thing comes together. But Klopp had done it before, so the self confidence (infectious enthusiasm) is real.

Had Glass been more honest, and been, we’ve not done this before, we aim for this, we are all in this together, then maybe we could have all gone on a fun journey together. It felt like he was doing an impersonation of a football manager, rather than being himself, in charge of a football team. I hope he carries on, learns from it, and Davie Moyes style reappears somewhere else.

So what about Aberdeen FC moving forward. We will eventually find out if they have learned, or if it is a frying pan, deep fat fryer situation, but for now, a huge relief.

One interesting part of assorted names coming up, is how we as football supporters prefer the complete unknown, to the quite good, we know, but not shiny and new. It is the same with players. The transfer window a buzz with speculation for the unknown, when three weeks later, we may well f*cking loathe that previously ‘exciting unknown’.

Goodwin comes under ‘the known’, and therefor ‘a bit boring’ option. The bloke in Norway with a name like a bad Scrabble selection, the super exciting unknown. If the same bloke was doing very well at Motherwell, he’d just be ‘that bloke at Motherwell’.

I remember a version of it under Ian Porterfield. Peter Weir, Gothenburg Great and arguably one of Aberdeen’s greatest ever players, ushered out the door, as Portaloo ‘didn’t fancy him’. Gary Hacket on the bench brought on as sub, the excitement from the crowd at this ‘exciting unknown’. And who knows, maybe one day, Gary Hacket will get past a full back.

No, there is no real moral or point to that. Just, we all do it.


October 17th 2021

I’m going to be a dick now about Glass and stuff I’ve seen on social media. In my defence I’ve largely been very quiet on everything for quite a while. Just let things unfold. Drawing Gothenburg Greats (my own quiet heroism), judging everyone and binge watching Family Guy.

So read this in Stewie’s voice…

All set? Here we fucking go!

Let us not forget the collective dandy madness that had supporters purring over the signing of a 30 year old journeyman from Livingston on a free, with a collective ‘just wait until the striking coach gets hold of this guy…’ like we’d just picked up Marco Van Basten from Milan in the 80s. How was he ever going to be anything other than the next Curtis Main.

There was that time on Twitter I said Brown probably wouldn’t be much cop as he was two years older than Jonny Hayes, and was told ‘I knew nothing about football’. 

Well you know nothing about how time works. Which I forgot to tweet back but meant to.

There was that one game early on where we played well (Hacken at home?) where during the game tweeting ‘Be careful what you wish for!! Sneering emoji, sneering emoji, sneering emoji’ was some supporters first reaction even before the final whistle. On the back of a fucking pandemic and the whole support having gone through an emotional shredder the previous 12 months.

*noisily clears throat*

You should have been careful what YOU wished for then shouldn’t you. Sneering emoji! Aubergine emoji, a rubber duck emoji. (still Stewie)


Let’s not forget the first really big clue. The Dundee United cup game last season where we were royally turned over by an exceptionally average Dundee United team even by Dundee United standards. Mister confident knows what he’s doing and speaks so well, that’s my manager (vomit). At his first significant (and expensive) defeat while under pressure in an interview for the first time, did the good manager thing of taking responsibility and saying ‘he was to blame’. And then immediately did the absolute fucking opposite by saying, ‘but the players had to understand that level of performance wasn’t acceptable’ (he hadn’t rotated the squad since a tough midweek game against Celtic, as he hadn’t reached that page in the management for dummies book yet). Thus blaming the players publicly, which would immediately damage team morale. Which was presumably on the next page of the fucking book on management he singularly hadn’t fucking read yet.

That day, was day one of, look how out of my fucking depth I am. 

Clunkety clunk

Let’s not forget the clunkety clunkety clunk of the back stories of how he and the back room team had always stayed in touch down the years (“mainly on the phone” as that’s important to explain in the backstory) to maintain the illusion of a natural group, the coming together of the A Team rather than a disparate group of individuals collected together with the aid of Google.

Let’s not forget if my maths and memory is correct three talented young players offered contracts elected to leave rather than stay at Aberdeen. One didn’t have a club to go to. There can be many reasons for this, one of which might be, Cormack Park is a pretty shit place to go to work if you are an ambitious young player. All eyes should be on the young players who’s contracts are up in the summer. Watch very carefully if it happens again. (Older players sign mainly for salary, 18-23 are looking to have their potential developed by someone they believe in).

Super Striker

Let’s not forget no one questioning the striking coach despite not a single EPL club in their right mind would ever consider giving Gareth Southgate a job if he became available, but some bloke who used to play for Hamilton with a company called Super Striker (Really!? the fuck were the company names that he rejected?!) was somehow the greatest thing since sliced bread, but with all that money available in the EPL, Aberdeen we’re able to snap him up under the noses of Chelsea, Man City and Burnley…

There was that time everyone decided racism wasn’t important because Aberdeen’s moral compass said ‘he was backing his teammate that’s what they do’ like that excused Celtics shameful behaviour that could finally be called to account. Destroying any integrity Aberdeen had just to sign someone who used to be Scott Brown. All Brown had to do was acknowledge mistakes were made. A part of the club died that day.

There was the time the chairman answered ‘no’ to the concept of fan ownership and everyone went, ‘ok then, that’s fine’. As apparently questioning millionaires isn’t allowed in the Dandy support. Oh look Pittodrie is destroyed. For Gods sake no one consider questioning how that happened. And with a builder in charge. What are the chances. Oh look we have to move. That’s my Chairman. (vomit) I hope he says ‘rowies’ again. (vomit)

Pulp Fiction

Let us not forget on social media an account saying ‘although we are losing, it just needs time’, and the superb technical analysis that went with explaining the awesome new tactical stuff of fullbacks in front of wingers and all sorts of incredible analysis that someone like me who ‘knows nothing about football’ wouldn’t be able to understand until later, but just wait. We’re still waiting and that technical analysis appears to have dried the fuck up. Tell us again how it was going to be brilliant later. Tell us again! Samuel L Jackson voice: tell us a motherfucking gain!

There was a game we lost (all of them?) but according to some on social media we won 75% 25% on possession so we needed to be patient because we knew nothing about football.

And finally the time early on when I said Glass reminded me of a character in an ITV police drama, the Scottish football manager character, just incredibly ‘on the nose’. I was trying to word it nicely but I think ‘fake’ was the word I wanted to use. Well I was watching an old episode of Touch of Frost with David Jason from 2001 and there he is. Generic cliched gruff hard as nails wiry Scottish football manager. Also considerably more convincing. The actor. The actor playing a football manager in Frost.

Anyway I’m out of here, I’m emotionally drained. Oh I called it right at the beginning https://thedandydons.com/breaking-glass-frankensteins-monster-and-the-romanov-era/ either because it was patently obvious, or I’m Stewie and I used his fucking time machine. And no, I’m not smug about it, and I’m not pleased I was right, and plenty others saw through it all too.

P.s. Wait a minute, ‘pants pisher’ what happened to that phrase that was being dished out to anyone questioning Glass? Don’t hear that one so much anymore. Interesting the same people dishing out the ‘pants pisher’ insults were dishing out ‘happy clapper’ as an insult for backing McInnes.

I’m coming around to Stephen Glass. Perhaps it’s my contrary personality, perhaps I just  needed time to get over the last guy, perhaps I wasn’t able to drink the Stephen Glass Kool Aid others were pouring down their throats with wild abandon, because others were drinking it and getting on my f*cking nerves… I genuinely don’t know why or how my football emotions work. 

Now Glass is under pressure and others are questioning him, and he’s looking a bit, a lot, out of his depth, I kind of feel for the guy.

But what’s wrong, what is the reason this thing, this philosophy isn’t working?

Well what is his football philosophy? 

Attacking, entertaining, on the ground, fast, sexy, Brazil 1970s football? (I don’t do details, or research, but something like that).

And where does that philosophy come from? His time working under Johan Cruyff? Nope. His time living in Brazil? Nope. Is that how his Newcastle Utd team played? Nope. Is this how Atlanta play? Nope. Is that how his Atlanta reserves played? Nope.

So where does it come from?

It is the antithesis of the last 18 months of the McInnes era and was created in my opinion, depending on which version of the assorted timelines you wish to believe, to either convince Cormack to give him the job 18 months ago, sorry six months ago, or together with Cormack it was created six months ago to convince Aberdeen supporters to accept a manager who has never managed a football team at any real level before and to help sell season tickets.

And if that is the case, and looking at current performances, that has become a massive rod for his own back, and why the team can’t buy a win.

Now if I am right on this being the ‘anti-McInnes football philosophy’ (anti last two seasons), and it’s a big if, then an entire football philosophy of a football club has been built around the complaints of a few very loud voices on Twitter. This also explains why quite a few of the people still backing Glass unquestionably on Twitter are those same people. Well no wonder, the philosophy was reverse engineered out of their angry f*cking tweets the last two years!

Now of course there is a huge ‘if’ on that. Albeit it’s a hysterically funny concept, if it wasn’t so f*cking tragic. But let’s just say my conjecture is wrong, let’s look closer at Glass.

His football philosophy is all well and good. It’s a lovely concept. But surely a philosophy like that is a long term project, that would take several years to implement, several transfer windows to bring in the right components, and should be instilled gradually, and dare I say it, not be shouted from the rooftops from the outset? Perhaps be shouted once it is working and in retrospect. Look what we did? We came in with this philosophy and then we changed x, y, and z and that’s why f*ck me Aberdeen now play like Brazil 1970 (but much, much younger obviously).

But by shouting from day 1, and with no previous example to go ‘this is how we did it at Atlanta, or Dunfermline or wherever’, this is just something in the inexperienced manager’s head, and while he may be a football genius, the second coming of Alex Ferguson, when he hasn’t done it before, you kind of have to ask, why hasn’t he done it before?

Why do famous names in football not work their way up? Not begin lower down to learn the job? Why did Neville start at Valencia, Shearer start at Newcastle, Rooney at Derby? Why not start at Stockport, Southend, Cowdenbeath or Falkirk?

Quite simple because they know they will get found out. In a league up against other experienced managers who don’t have famous names, with teams with similar budgets, when put to a real test of their managerial ability, they will get found out for the absolute frauds they are. Because if you are a great football manager, up against others you will rise, you will do something special with that team, you will improve players, and get your team to out play similar, and on occasion bigger budgets. You will play better football, and your natural talent will be clear and obvious. You will also learn on the job about some seemingly basic things. Like squad rotation, and how to deal with being down to 10 men.

The famous name thing is very weird in football. Wenger, Ferguson, Stein, Mourinho, Klopp not great players. If you were to pick a player randomly out of your team to become a football manager, you probably should start with your worst player, not your best (or more seriously, the most intelligent, not the most talented with a ball at their feet). Why anyone would be so stupid to think Wayne Rooney a potential football manager is just unbelievable.  

Gordon Strachan said something really good about Sir Alex Ferguson many years ago. He was asked something like what had he learned from him, and what a young manager should learn from him (Sir Alex).

His answer went along the lines of learn all you can from him as he is a genius, but never ever try to be like him. Because it will be false, and the players will know, and it won’t work. You have to be yourself.

And that’s what Glass needs to do. He has to stop being the version of a football manager he has dreamed up, and be himself. Every interview I see, every version of how he got the job, the relationships with the coaching staff, there appear to be back stories that um, go a bit clunk. And doesn’t need to be that way. You are manager of Aberdeen, that’s your coaching staff, it is what it is.

You are an inexperienced manager, with an inexperienced disparate coaching team that may have huge talent. There is nothing wrong with the truth. Stop faking confidence that you can’t have, having never done it before. And together we move forward and get onboard. Because just maybe, underneath all the fake confidence, is a football manager.

These next difficult games may well be just what is needed. Good luck and stand free and all that.

aberdeen fc sheep
aberdeen fc sheep

An exciting development in the Dons support. A new insult has descended from the clouds on a granite slab, left at the top of South Anderson Drive to be dished out to any non believer on social media.

‘Pantspisher’ is the new insult du jour. Etched in uppercase with three exclamation marks and the laughing at my own ‘joke’ emoji that is the mark of someone to avoid at all costs. 😂😂😂 that one.

If you haven’t seen it, it’s dished out to anyone questioning Glass, or any decision by Glass, or being unhappy about a loss, the current team, or heaven forbid ‘Mr Transparency’ the Chairman.

Interestingly ‘pantspisher’ is the diametric opposite of ‘happy clapper’ which was the insult that was directed by those ‘who knew about football’ at those who ‘know nothing about football’ who were backing the last manager. According to an official AFC sociologist (me) this first appeared about 3-4 years ago. 

My deep sociological study has made an interesting discovery on the people who direct ‘Pantspishers’ and those who directed ‘Happy Clapper’ at their fellow supporters. In a niche cultural reference too far, in the words of Pam Beesly in a meme you wouldn’t get ‘they’re the same people’.

Other insults directed at fellow supporters for having a fraction of a difference of opinion on anything includes the thermonuclear ’so called supporter’ and the equally thermonuclear ‘you know nothing about football’. The latter being the fail safe end game, ironically, of the person who knows nothing about debating a point.

Oh but the Aberdeen support have far more than that for self flagellation, the self declared ‘Worst supporters in the world’. ‘Always moaning, always negative’, ‘always doom and gloom’. When it comes to attacking each other, when it comes to inverted snobbery, the Aberdeen support is truly in a class of its own.

I’m going to blow your f*cking minds! Go onto any Barcelona supporters thread, and have a read. You want to see negativity, you want to see doom and gloom, you want to see ‘the worst supporters in the world’, they have won about a million trophies in the last 10 years alone, had arguably the greatest team ever in that time, arguably the greatest ever player for the last 15 years, and will probably win the Champions League again, inside 5 years.

Listen to them. Because they aren’t going to win EVERY game this season. Look at the empty seats! That’s the worst supporters in the world, and all the supporters of those other dreadful franchise brand teams are equally bad. 

We back a team that hasn’t won the league since the 80s, one cup in God knows, and are probably going to be in this mediocre loop for the rest of our lives.

And we still support the team. We are magnificent. Real football supporters, not glory hunting parasitic football tourists jumping on the back of some billionaire parasite’s long term investment. (Unless one of them is your second team then…) So stop attacking your own supporters. Love the support, love the diversity of opinion, and in turn love yourself. One love. Now more than ever. 

And it’s not about everyone backing the team on everything unquestionably. We are not robots. We are all allowed different opinions. But for the love of God, allow others the space to have those opinions. A lot of people are mentally screwed up post Covid, I know I am, and others have dealt with far worse than me.

Agree to disagree, stop calling your fellow supporters names. Go for the ball, not the man or woman. Stop being such a cunt. (Oh I had to ruin it didn’t I? Almost though. Almost got to the end)

March 27 2021

Aberdeen FC are currently at a crossroads. The McInnes era has ended, and the Glass era is just beginning.

Now we as football supporters must patiently await what will happen, while giving complete backing to the management team, new players and the Chairman.

You’d think that wouldn’t you.

And then in a complete change from how the UK’s mainstream media normally works, a BBC employee uses a newspaper column to push forward the views of a multi-millionaire! Well f*ck me! https://www.pressandjournal.co.uk/fp/sport/football/aberdeen-fc/3007504/richard-gordon-column-despite-some-fans-strange-views-a-new-era-is-about-to-unfold-for-aberdeen/

the level of stupidity in a number of the replies was actually quite breath-taking, and I do despair at the thinking of some who call themselves supporters.

Richard Gordon

So the multimillionaire in his Bond villain lair in Atlanta or wherever, has his friend attacking supporters for not being complete believers via the press. The same guy who had an awful lot of information on all things Aberdeen FC on the radio a couple of weeks ago, in complete contrast to the club’s own communications department.

I have known the chairman for decades and I can guarantee them there is no chance he would appoint anyone under those circumstances

Richard Gordon

This is from a guy who stated on Radio Scotland fully two weeks ago, something along the lines of he didn’t know what would happen, no decision had been made (Glass) and then ended it with ‘but Stephen Glass will definitely be involved somewhere’ or words to that effect.

but it is also a huge decision Stephen has taken to give up a lifestyle and career in Atlanta to return to the north east. 

Richard Gordon

Fuck off, and when you are done fucking off, fuck off again. Managing Aberdeen Football Club ought to be the biggest thrill of his f*cking life. He will never manage a bigger club, I guarantee it. Are we supposed to be grateful he left the arse end of nowhere managing their second string to fourth bottom. Incidentally over the last few weeks while all this was going on, plenty media contact with Glass. There was no ‘no comment’, or ‘while flattered to be mentioned, just concentrating on my job with the New York f*cking Yankees’ or whatever they are called. Like you’d normally do if linked with a job while in another job.

He certainly wasted no time in bringing Scott Brown to Pittodrie,

Richard Gordon

Amazing, only took him 48 hours, incredible work. Was in the media for several weeks, but presumably they just guessed it. And coincidently their guess actually happened. What are the chances.

They really think we are f*cking idiots.

Now time to break some Glass

Glass is going to fail. Albeit it might fail in an entertaining way. Some exciting stuff will happen on the pitch. For a bit. Which we all very, very badly need. But that sugar rush isn’t going to sustain us for long.

So why will Glass fail? How many managers did Liverpool appoint before they finally got Klopp? Even with the money to shop in the highest end of the market, it’s really really difficult to find ‘the special one’. And it appears from watching Spurs, you can find ‘The Special One’ and he isn’t any more.

So someone who hasn’t done it at any real level before, almost certainly doesn’t have it. Particularly the man who took a US soccer team’s second string to fourth bottom. ‘Oh but he was developing talent’. That sounds very ‘Linkedin recommendation’ to me.

In addition looking at the other appointments in the coaching team and listening to Cormack, it’s clear that they are creating a Frankenstein’s monster. They are welding together elements that they know their actual manager doesn’t have, in an attempt to piece together a team that will have all the components they think they need, as if that will magically come together like alchemy.

Brown sugar

So clearly they have spotted a lack of a winning mentality in their new manager, so Frankensteining it buying in ‘winning mentality’ in Scott Brown (who turns 36 in the summer – 2 years older than Jonny Hayes).

Aberdeen to bring in striking coach

Then there’s the ‘Striking Coach’ that really gives the game away regarding frankensteining components together.

Sir Alex Ferguson did of course have a striking coach. His name was Sir Alex Ferguson. Managers manage. Again what is Glass doing? What is he bringing? His weaknesses are clear from the people being put together in the coaching team.

And it won’t work, just like co-managers are an idiotic idea, and because as I said countless times while writing about potential managerial appointments going back years, you can’t add elements together in a managerial team to create a great manager. Or Chelsea would have fifteen managers, Real Madrid 43. It just doesn’t work that way. A manager can bring in outside specialists for specific elements to aid them in their work, but if the manager doesn’t have it, isn’t the real deal, doesn’t have that magical combination of ingredients that it takes to be a successful manager, plus the experience to have tried it out, then it will fail.

And it is blindingly obvious it will fail.

Romanov at Hearts is probably a good example of what we are about to experience.

Someone with money (unlike Romanov, it’ll be his, it’ll be accumulated all perfectly morally properly – and well done you!), who is going to use that money as he is passionate about Aberdeen FC.

However ask a Hearts supporter, would they want Romanov back in charge, or do they want the current directors and be in the Championship? I don’t know the answer, (irrespective of their current mess -2022 update, they were in the Championship at the time) but I suspect it’s the current Hearts they prefer to support. Because it’s their club, run for them all collectively, and not some big ego making the club into a reflection of himself (or herself). And if you see what happened to Blackburn Rovers after Jack Walker passed away, after an unnatural unsustained cash injection (if it happens – getting the money in on Big Sam and McKenna doesn’t point to a huge cash injection coming – your season ticket will most certainly pay Scott Brown’s wages) it is not good for a football club.

I’ve no doubt this will upset some people. I don’t like to upset people, but I do care about Aberdeen Football Club, and I don’t like a lot I’ve been seeing going back several decades. Three stands named after nothing. Nothing for Chris Anderson. Willie Miller and Teddy Scott’s training pitches tone deaf at best. The virtual destruction of Pittodrie. That idiotic stand behind a goal. The removal of the corner areas. Two f*cking floodlights. A communication department built up over decades with a clear, consistent, understated tone of voice, wiped out at a stroke.

Just a f*cking mess while we wait for someone to find time on Zoom. Long after he has briefed countless journalists. Transparent. My arse.


I should probably add Richard Gordon’s Glory of Gothenburg book is one of my favourite books.


Update 26 Sept 2021:

Why did I write this, why not ‘gie the boy a chance’?

  1. I hate it when anyone comes with the ‘who calls themselves supporters’ line, or any of the variations of ’so called supporter’ (Ironically I hadn’t been complaining) So when the line comes from a paid journalist, who is a friend of the Chairman, with a huge platform…
  2. I’ve been around a while. If I were to be on Mastermind my specialised subject would be ‘Aberdeen’s managers post Alex Ferguson and the stupidity of most of those appointments’. Two of them I called at the time of their appointments, and said would be abject failures. (Alex Miller and Craig Brown – I’m not psychic or particularly smart, if you had watched any of their careers pre-Aberdeen in any detail it was very obvious) Here was number three. No doubt whatsoever. As an Aberdeen supporter I ALWAYS want my team to win. It makes me furious that such fuckwittery could happen within our club, repeatedly. We watched Milne f*ck up time after time, finally he gets one right, then the next Chairman wants to play at running a football club. So everything that has gone before is thrown away, and now we’ve to wait years for Cormack to get one right. 
  3. Lockdown. I wasn’t in a good mood. 

Who am I, what right do I have to say this? Nothing, zilch, zero. I am just one person, my opinion is worthless. I don’t want to be right, don’t need to be right, don’t want to be popular or your friend. I just support Aberdeen football Club. (but that’s not what ‘supporter’ means? I remember listening to Richard Gordon after Aberdeen lost 9-0 to Celtic tearing into Mark McGhee – why wasn’t he being a ‘supporter‘ then?)

Does this damage the team, damage the club? Well there were about 3000 positive memes and illustrations posted on the Dandy Dons Facebook page the last 5 years. Did they make a difference? Then at least thirty points must be down to me… you’re welcome.


A messy, slightly emotional, slightly relieved early look back at the McInnes era


A look at the late great Ebbe Skovdahl.

What makes Pittodrie so special?

The Dandy Dons Union Street Aberdeen FC Dandy Megastore™ exclusive designs and ideas. A look inside the Aberdeen FC flagship Union Street Store.

Giant banners to be added, hanging down the height of the building. A little bit like the Nazis, but without the fascism, as another Scottish team have that covered. When it’s dark, red lights will shine into the sky hundreds of metres above Union Street. They will be able to see them from Dundee.

Other elements to the Dandy Megastore™ will include:

The Donald Family Cinema

After you’ve seen around the museum, pop into the 50 seat cinema. Occasionally the Cup Winners Cup Final on a loop will be broken up by actual matches. And depending on how the live game is going, the Gothenburg game might go back on before the end.

The cinema will have a bar, as we are good people, who can be trusted with a beer, in a glass, in a cinema.

Ian Donald will come round with ice creams on a tray at half time, with a wee torch, and tell those talking too much to shush.

The Pittodrie Virtual Reality Experience

Wonder at the Pittodrie virtual reality experience through the ages. In the 1920’s part, you will feel the itch of your flat cap, and it will feel like someone is pissing down your leg, and you have rickets.

Through the decades the delicate sound of sweety wrappers changes, reflecting the appearance of new sweets arriving on the market. The aroma of Pandrops changes to Spangles and onto Menthos, and all the time no matter what decade, over your shoulder some miserable bastard will be moaning like hell.

When you reach the Bayern game in 1983, once again that feeling of someone pissing down your leg will hit you. But this time it will be real, and it will be you pissing yourself, at the sheer unadulterated joy of Pittodrie’s Greatest Night.

Heaven – the sports bar

Named after the Swedish nightclub Dandy supporters found themselves in Gothenburg on the 11th of May 1983. Mein host, Craigie Broon will regale you with stories from back when he was Scotland manager if you misbehave or cause any trouble. Fortunately Sir Archie Knox will ensure the bar has speedy service, with all the beers at optimal quality, as throughout his career he is used to doing all the work while others get the credit.

Former players will occasionally work as guest barman for the evening. Former players that can be trusted near alcohol, a till, credit cards, and to give the correct change from a twenty quid note. So Brian Irvine, Russell Anderson and, and, oh there must be more than that. Surely. Aye we’ll get back to you on that one. (Update: since this was first posted it has been announced Sam Cosgrove is studying accountancy…)

There will be Harper’s Lager, but not by the bottle. Only on draft. So finally, Harper’s a barrel… Here all week, enjoy the beef burgers.

The REAL Aberdeen Angus Steak and Burger Restaurant

We all love Angus the Bull. So much, we’d like to eat him. Enjoy the succulent beef of our region that others have marketed in restaurants way better than us, in the surroundings of the Aberdeen FC flagship restaurant. REAL geddit?! REAL!!

Quality locally produced ingredients, prepared by specialised chefs, the way they are prepared for the professional athletes at AFC. Aberdeen FC are a brand associated with health and fitness, with it’s own young, fit brand icons. A brand that will never go out of date plus tapping into the North East’s finest ingredients being world renowned for their quality… it’ll niver work min.

Special Beers exclusive to the Dandy Megastore

Brewsheep! Hello court case, if not brewed by the fellas up the road. Exclusively designed by The Dandy Dons (the artwork) these craft beers, brewed with local ingredients?, with an oak? finish and, I don’t know, hoppy, tasty, beery, with the added essence of two European trophies (now we’re talking). Beers. Dandy beers.

This silly design, is just me messing around. But notice how nice it looks. It looks nice because something is missing. The Aberdeen FC badge. Designed by Donald Addison, who taught me briefly at Gray’s School of Art (and was my neighbour for about five years) the badge is a wonderful piece of design. But it’s designed to be on a football strip, and by their nature are heavily detailed branding. There is a tendency with merchandise in football clubs (and not having a go at Afc) to just stick the badge on something. That’ll do, sell it in the shop as merch. And it usually looks very tacky. Use the components of the badge maybe, but not the whole thing. It says it’s official, that’s all it needs. End of design lesson/lecture.

I have a lot of Aberdeen FC craft beer ideas… An IPA (Indian pale Ale) called Tattie. Neale was born in India. A golden beer with a blonde head, 8.3%. Kick like a mule… all profits to the dog home he supported. With his family’s permission. Any craft breweries out there… I can design the label.

The Aberdeen FC Museum

We trust Chris Gavin and the rest of the Aberdeen Heritage Trust team to deliver something sensational for the museum. In particular the section on The Northern Light fanzine that has been mentioned.

As a contributor to The Northern Light, I’m expecting my two covers to feature prominently. Perhaps a shrine, where visitors can light a candle in thanks for our collective genius and the campaigns to get Portaloo and Smiffy sacked that would have happened anyway.

Like the Clash, Nirvana and Elvis, it all ended too soon for The Northern Light. Probably most like Elvis on that list. On the toilet, bloated, and full of shit…

The Gordon Reid Gallery Rooms

By way of an annex to the Super Dandy Mega Store, Aberdeen Art Gallery will finally get it’s act together, and have the greatest North East artist of a generation, Gordon Reid, featured in his own permanent gallery rooms. They will come from far and wide to witness the great man’s art in the flesh. But probably not from Boomtown Books, the Donald Family, the Milne Family… actually quite a long list won’t make it.

The St Clair Casino

Top floor. The St Clair Casino. Relive the magnificent journey in the casino. Let the dice roll, the beer flow, and dinnae forget the cairds. All beer served in cans of Tennents. At the end of the evening a croupier will shake you about a bit, for that wee bit sea sick feeling.


Free Gothenburg 83 Book to download.

aberdeen inverness

A bit about my favourite game, and my father.