A Dons team just played Buckie Thistle at Victoria Park. I wasn’t there, it’s a while since I saw a Dons team play Buckie Thistle.

After the match they came to the hotel my father managed for a meal. It was all quite casual, various local businesses contributing as part of the event. I was a kid, I went round them, pretty boisterous bunch, getting autographs.

One player out of the whole squad takes time to talk to the kid. Really making the kid feel special. He also does it with the waiting staff. Everyone really likes this one player.

There is no judgement on the other players. They are having their dinner, unwinding after a match.

Jump forward a few years. I am working behind the bar at The Egg and Dart. Corner of Queens Road and Anderson Drive, sadly no longer there. It was a lovely bar. Proper investment went into it. Family owned and run, they had bespoke illustrations on the wall, proper chefs working in their kitchen. They had a brilliant cocktail menu. Literally the menu. I designed it! I got paid in cans of lager. I’m beginning to spot patterns in my life.

Anyways, I’m behind the bar one Sunday evening. It was a big place, with a large square bar in the middle, you could get served at all four sides.

In comes, Johnny Hewitt, Bobby Connor, Stewart McKimmie, Brian Grant and Davie Dodds. They were there a couple of hours, they had shandies, perhaps two the whole time, Johnny had a lager top. I’m telling you that bit, as I remember specifically what they had. While I have lived with women, and struggled to remember how they like their coffee in the morning.

So, they are at the bar, I have served them professionally, despite the voice in my head screaming, ‘I am pouring a pint for Johnny Hewitt’, they stay at the bar, it was definitely in my head, they didn’t hear it? I’m in the clear.

Any bar person will tell you, you can really observe from behind a bar. You disappear into the background, no one is aware of you, unless they want a drink, you are sober, you hear and see everything. You’re invisible.

The bar is relatively quiet. The first customer wanting another drink appears. Coincidently at this square bar, standing right next to the Aberdeen footballers to order. Having just managed to serve them and hold it together, I can sneer at the others trying to get close. As I am serving him, he makes a remark to Davie Dodds. Dodds is the outer member of the group, first point of contact. Something along the lines of ‘good game yesterday’.

It’s the Porterfield years. That’s unlikely.

Davie Dodds responds. Quite coldly. I’m disappointed in Davie Dodds at this. The guy had just made a bit of conversation, could have given a bit more.

I’m serving people steadily over the next hour or two, coincidently EVERYBODY, needs serving just next to where the Aberdeen players are. Everybody does a bit of banter, a bit of small talk, with Davie Dodds. As I watch Dodds reply in exactly the same manner, I see he is in fact not being cold, he is in fact being incredibly warm and generous with his time, by responding to, and acknowledging everyone, while not wishing to get into a conversation, as he is out with his friends/team mates. Big respect. I can see how tough it must be being a footballer in Aberdeen. We know them, they don’t know us. Everybody wants to be their friend. They are not multi millionaires like in the English league.

Back to Buckie. And the player, who spoke to everyone, who I never forgot, the old friend, was Andy Dornan. Gutted when he left.

 

 

The World Cup brought up all the old discussions on whether Scottish people should support England, whether ABE was a bit of banter or full on hatred/bigotry.

We are all individuals, there are thousands of different reasons for backing or not backing England (presuming you are Scottish) and even for you to both back them, and want them to lose, and be pleased for them, during the same game. Because it’s football. Damn you, and your non binary world.

I have an odd handle on it that comes from living in Denmark for a long time. When I moved over here years ago, a lot of my friends were English. It starts with meeting people at language school, you go to a pub for the football, and you’ve landed yourself in a predominantly British group of people, there are some Danes, everyone’s partners will be Danish, and you hang out together, and get shit faced together.

Now we didn’t/don’t always behave that well. And it’s not just a British ex-pat thing. I’ve friends of different nationalities, slagging off the country you live in, particularly in the first three or four years, is something that people do. Certainly when they come from a Western country. Non economic migrants. It’s not okay, I gently remove myself from people who do it, you have to see the positive in where you live for your own sake, and it’s exceptionally rude and disrespectful to the country you live in.

Football, beer and bad company can bring out the worst in you. And it can be a bit of a laugh. Particularly as a lot of these guys have, half English, half Danish kids. And all the West Ham strips in the world aren’t going to stop them supporting FC Copenhagen and Denmark. Just like their mates at school. And listening to their bilingual kids speaking English, with their mother’s Danish accent. It’s called the mother tongue for a reason.

So our bad behaviour would involve collectively hoping Denmark would always lose. (unless their kids were there and we’d have to fake it!) I know, such a lovely sweet country, red and white, the Laudrup brothers, Schmeichel, nice football, nice culture, nice people, nice beer, how could we? Seriously, how could we? Well quite simply before a game you’d be somewhere between not that bothered to hoping it goes well for them, the game starts, and the fucking commentator would be doing your head in. Remarkably quickly into the game.

Now as I said, our behaviour was bad, and wrong. And after a game I certainly could be pleased for Danish people I know, but a result going badly getting it right up the commentators and pundits was lovely. Past tense.

Not for a second, is there anything wrong with what the Danish commentators said or thought. They are Danes, talking to Danes. Of course they are biased. It would be wrong if they weren’t.

So what interested me in this observation, with the odd irony that predominantly English people were involved too, was the power of pundits and commentators to piss people off. To the point of wanting a team to lose.

England, and English people in England should get all the 1966, football coming home, Gary Lineker in your face, until the cows come home. Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, absolutely should not. There ought to be separate coverage. Separate commentators. An opt out, opt in option should be there. It wouldn’t cost that much relative to what the BBC pisses money away on. Andrew Marr’s 500k a year salary?! When did supposedly impartial journalists being multi-millionaires become acceptable?

I am now very happy for Denmark when they win. It is brilliant to be around a large group of Danes watching football. I’m still 100% Scottish. An England Denmark game years back almost made my head explode. A Danish commentator making me back England.

I also remember Euro 96. Scotland went out, and on TV that night Skinner and Baddiel were taking the piss, waving to a train leaving Euston Station. Oh, the bants! When England went out, it was like the death of the Queen. The whole of the media, everyone talking sombrely, nursing a heart broken country through a traumatic event.

Well Modric says The Coming Home song, and the perceived arrogance of presuming they’d get to the final, inspired Croatia to knock them out of the World Cup. Ha!

A reminder that our big signings will come late….

 

 

 

After the game against The Rangers Tuesday 8th, yesterday, I got stuck into Ryan Christie on the Facebook page. I said, after a poor second half, the good news was he wasn’t going to play for us again.

Quite a few people agreed, quite a few disagreed.

I don’t like to criticise Aberdeen players, it seldom happens on the FB page, but I just ‘let go’ on this one. Stevie May also got it. In particular seeing the two of them ending that game, got me a bit wound up. Particularly when it was so important. It’s the end of the season, there’s one, probably horrible game to go.

Ryan Christie has been very poor. Very ball greedy, very much making bad decisions, losing possession when he has tried something fancy, when he should have kept it simple (much like Stevie May). There’s a weird undistinguishable line between ‘trying too hard’, and very egotistically making it about yourself, your career and development.

As an individualist you give your maximum, create a bit of brilliance and you are the hero. As a team player, you do what is best for the team. When it is not going well for an individualist, there’s a problem.

I’m sure Ryan Christie is a great person, and a great player. I wish him nothing but the best, unless playing us. If he were to join us, as an Aberdeen player, I’d be delighted. I have a sneaky suspicion, he is actually our level. And once he knows that… team player.

I don’t have a problem with other loan players, anyone pulls on the red shirt, and they are ours, and I really hope Greg Stewart becomes a permanent signing.

The other niggle on top of Rooney not coming on in such an important game, but May did, was thinking that Peter Pawlett left, getting similar treatment as Rooney now is getting, while loan players were preferred, and how in this difficult transition season, we could have done with Pawlett, and his clear understanding with his team mates, having played with them for so long.

I’m upset about something else. Just like everyone else. The health of Sir Alex Ferguson.

Pittodrie has three stands. One named after a point on a compass. One named after the street it sits on. One named after the dullest adjective imaginable.

Can we get that fixed please. Those Gothenburg greats aren’t getting any younger either. We take the new stand names with us.

 

 

 

 

The Northern Light

The Northern Light was the fanzine that went before The Red Final. My two front covers for The Northern Light, of which I am immensely proud to have been a very small part of. They were very kind letting me get that, considering there was Gordon Reid, Gio Alzapiedi and Bob Harper as the fanzine’s art department.

Aberdeen Journals, the Press and Journal

The Lang Stracht. The case room, layouting. Happy days. A little bit of old school journalism and print was still there. A lot of good people. Deadlines, industrial swearing, the cairds, and the five a side fitba team.

I decided to leave, thought I may as well offer a couple of cartoons, they’ll never get in, doesn’t matter as I’m leaving. A few hours later, I’m holding a still warm, hot of the presses P&J. A cartoon on the front, and on the back page. Quite the experience. I was young, I was learning, in hindsight, could have done with some mentoring. There were a hundred cartoons in all.

It sold about 105000 a day, with an estimated readership of double that number. Considerably less since my cartoons stopped. Coincidence? (I will never tire of that gag)

At this time I also contributed cartoons to The Absolute Game fanzine, a brilliant fanzine that covered all of Scottish football. And later on when I lived in London to When Saturday Comes, the daddy of all fanzines (which is still running and on sale in WH Smith).

It was tough contributing unsolicited work. You never knew what would be used, or not, or how the work would be treated. I found the process difficult to deal with. I eventually had enough and packed it in completely.

Aberdeen Football Club

Except there was one last itch. There was I think four or five jobs, I think it was over one season, while Skovdahl was there.

The Dandy Dons

After so many years away from football work, it was  while putting together an about page for the website, I connected the thread of the previous Afc work to the current ‘messing around’ of The Dandy Dons work. A graphic designer/illustrator getting warmed up for client work, practicing skills, keeping up to date with communication on social media, following The Dons obsessively.

And very much in charge of my own work. Standing Free!

I wrote more about The Northern Light here, particularly Gordon Reid who’s work was an enormous inspiration to me and many others. Get well soon Gordon.

It’s a difficult question that needs to be asked. In light of recent events, have the personnel at Pittodrie taken us as far as we can. Is it time for change? Are these the correct people to take us to the next level?

We must first acknowledge what has brought us to this. We owe immense gratitude for the hard work, commitment and talent that has got us to this level of expectation. Some in the Glasgow media (of course), have implied sheer blind luck has got us to where we are. Well no that is not accurate.

Those three heiders at Pittodrie were magnificent. But is it time for changes in the Sooth Stund?

The old boys have served us well, some of them going back to the days of Fergie and beyond. But they never mention it. Particularly not the Munich game. Aye right Grandpa. It’s a difficult subject but there’s no room for sentiment in fitba.

Do they still have the agility to rise out of their seats and heid the ba, if the need arises? Do they have the eyesight to even see the ba, considering the rest of the shite they say about the game we can all see? Has the time come for a cull? Is it time a few of the older Soothstunders to be very gently, and with the greatest respect for their achievements, kicked into the North Sea?

And then there’s the younger ones. Have some of them been promoted too soon? Should they be back in the Merkland for a bit with the other greetin’ brats. Never off their phones, looking at Twitter during the game. When the ball comes their way they’re no gonna see it coming, or they’ll fuck it up trying to do a selfie at the same time.

However for some like Wee Gordon, it’s all about genetics. We are genetically disposed to mock chop suppers, moaning, and talking about Gothenburg. Heiders, we’ll never get past three.

So the big question is, do we need to fill the Soothstund with talented Brazilians?

I think we all know the answer to that one…

Facebook is making changes that will change your Facebook news feed. If you want to keep seeing The Dandy Dons memes and illustrations do the following 1) Go to www.facebook.com/thedandydons 2) Click ‘Following’ 3) Click ‘See First’

Unless of course you would rather see cats, dogs, babies, minions and that racist stuff your Gran posts…

 

Glasgow is a great city. Visited it many times. Great people, warm and friendly, lots to do and see. This isn’t about them, it’s about the media that resides there.

It’s quite astonishing what we as Aberdeen supporters have been through the last few months. A little recap, the Scottish international football manager and his assistant were intentionally not picking Aberdeen players because of a made up vendetta due to some bullying issues from a genius who created their entire careers a few decades back and one of the petty individuals who believed being a winner meant never being wrong.

Being in a Scotland squad doesn’t mean you are going to play. There’s 22 players and reserve call ups. There is room to reward good performances, ones for the future. Any doubt that it happened, that it’s all subjective, we’re the mad paranoid ones in this scenario, was wiped out at a stroke by the SFA organising a fixture at Pittodrie immediately after their sacking where three of them were in, and even Ryan Jack who had deserved at least one call up from his time at Aberdeen was also included.

Whether Milne had something over those making the decisions or somebody somewhere in the SFA had cottoned on to the pathetic little arseholes that Strachan and McGhee are, is open to debate. But that is as close to a public apology to the city of Aberdeen by the SFA as you are ever likely to see.

Then there is the collective media manipulation against McInnes and Aberdeen to aid the Jim Traynor managed The Rangers. Astonishing in the sense that trust in the media, and particularly the BBC is at an all time low and falling fast already.

Let’s face it the decent journalists leave Scotland. The Hugh McIlvanneys and the hmmm, sure there must be another one, of this world leave Scotland to pick up the Murdoch shilling for a much bigger audience.

What’s left behind, aren’t even journalists. They are just awful, and whether you are pro or anti independence, Brexit, Catalonia, Corbyn, SNP whoever, if you follow the mainstream media in any way objectively,  it’s clear the media are not fit for purpose and just puppets of a few billionaires and banks looking to control society as they continue to asset strip the UK to their tax free islands.

I’ve seen it in comments during the last few weeks, nice respectful citizens shocked at the behaviour of the BBC on the McInnes story. Perhaps now they’ll start watching Marr, Kuenssberg or The Question Time panel with a far more open mind, questioning what they are being shown.

Whether McInnes goes or stays, this isn’t just about football. This is arrogant, stupid people further destroying an industry that’s thankfully on it’s knees. ‘Fake news’ is a phrase invented by them to attack freedom of speech on social media and the internet. The phrase is new, the concept is exactly what the MSM have always created.

*Okay there are good sports journalists. But it was funnier to leave McIlvanney’s name hanging. Jim Spence, Graham Hunter… shit I’m struggling to come up with more though.